I hate working out almost as much as I hate cliche blog posts about body image, etc. And here I am, about to write about both.
I’ve been open about my exercise and weight issues (I don’t know if I’d call them struggles) on this blog because I want to be honest with you all. Almost two years ago, I lost 25 pounds – and last year I ran a 5k. Both massive achievements for a completely unathletic girl like me.
And then I got lazy again. I blamed it on the cold and my almost-instinctive craving of warm comfort food, and I blamed it on Indiana’s lack of quality produce during the winter – I blamed pretty much everything but myself, which ultimately did me no good because I gained a lot of the weight back.
I hate even writing that. It makes me feel like a failure – I failed my body, and I failed at life. Ok, I slightly overdramatize, but it certainly does make me doubt myself, which is possibly the worst feeling of all. So I’m doing something about it:
- Get back on Weight Watchers
- Stop making excuses about how cold it is, throw on some long underwear and take the dogs for a walk every night
On the plus side, I’ve been down this road before – I know Weight Watchers will work for me, and I know I can be disciplined enough to make it work.
But that’s also a downside – I’ve been here before. I didn’t keep the weight off, so now I have to do this again. But my goal this time is to come out on the other end with a long-term plan for keeping the weight off and staying healthy.
I feel like this was kind of an emotional vomit post. Sometimes when I’m struggling with something, it helps to read about other people’s experiences with the same issues – so I hope if you are going through something similar, this has in turn helped you.
P.S. My boyfriend thinks that I look wonderful no matter what. He is definitely supportive of anything that I want to do to feel better about myself but would be appalled if I thought he thought anything but wonderful things about my body.*
*ETA: Boyfriend totally added that line when I wasn’t looking. Just when I thought I couldn’t love him any more, he does something like that. God I love that boy.
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For the record, I never would have guessed. You always look fabulous! But, I hear what you’re saying. A few years ago (I guess maybe almost 4 now) I lost almost 40 pounds. But, by the end of the Christmas holidays this year I’d put all that back on…..and was nearly 20 pounds heavier than when I started that weight loss. (Yeah, you did the math right – that’s a pretty big swing.) I’ve been disheartened by my inability to maintain the weight loss….and beat myself up every time I see pictures from the brief period of time I flirted with “thin”. (Whoa – that was a downer!)
The first of this year I decided I’m doing something about it. No more hating it and not fixing it. I started Weight Watchers 1/1. (After paying for it for 3 months and not using it!) I’m making time for exercise a couple times a week. And, I’m actually looking forward to getting our dog (which is only a couple weeks away now!) and having a reason to get outside and move around a couple times a day.
Hang in there; you can do it!
Tracy, thank you so much for sharing your story. Please do NOT beat yourself up – I think you look wonderful! I’m right here with you on the WW journey. We can do it!
I’ve been petite my whole life (this is not me bragging by the way) so I didn’t really understand the whole weight issue until I started dating my now husband. When he was younger he was 350 lbs. He managed to lose a TON of weight and keep it off so when I met him I couldn’t believe he had ever been that size. But I watch him constantly struggle with it and staying in the weight area that he wants to be. When we got engaged, we both made the decision to get in shape. I wanted to tone up, he wanted to lose some of the “happy pounds” he put on since we had started dating. He managed to lose 60 lbs and be thinner than he’d ever been for our wedding. And now with the wedding over, he struggles with trying to maintain it. To hear him say that he doesn’t like how he looks is so heartbreaking to me because of course I think he is the most handsome man in the world.
I try to keep going with him and keep him motivated and not ask to have Chinese food every day of the week. We try to push each other to get to the gym and not make excuses when it comes to food. We use My Fitness Pal app to track our workouts and food and that has been what really works for us so we’re continuing it now. The hardest part for us is actually WANTING to go to the gym. Neither of us like working out and especially when it’s this damn cold out the last thing we want to do is leave the comfort of our home. But we do it anyway. No more excuses. And I know that you can do it too. You just have to find what works for you and stick with it as best you can, and don’t get down on yourself when you “fail” for the day. Maybe reward yourself after every 5 pounds lost with a new bag or something. When there’s a goal in mind it makes it so much easier. Our new goal is to look like we did for our wedding at my 30th birthday party in March.
Good luck BBF, I know you can do it. And if you need someone to cheer you on, you have my number. I’m a great cheerleader
You and your hubs are so inspiring! It’s a struggle, but you know it’s also a reminder to myself that I am lucky and I shouldn’t take anything for granted, especially my health. Thank you so much for sharing. NO MORE EXCUSES. You should add a print with that on it to your Etsy store!
We’re in the same boat, girl! Summer 2010, after I graduated college, I joined Weight Watchers and lost the Freshman 15 (okay, more like 30) I gained during college…but the stress of law school/lack of good produce in Ohio winters/it’s too cold to get off of the couch/etc. (we use all the same excuses) have packed some of the pounds back on. I tried WW a second time, but I just cancelled my subscription last week because I decided to try and just count calories instead since that’s free. It’s just too bad we don’t live closer together so we could work out together and discuss fashion to make the time go by faster. I DETEST working out. Good luck on your journey…I know we can do this!
I would LOVE to work out (and have a celebratory glass of wine) with you!! I’m with you on this. We CAN do it. And we WILL!
You are lovely!
My husband and I both lost 20/5(me) him (35) he lost a bit more after due to a rabid appendix..but that’s another story.
Oh we have gained it and more..:(
I need to go to the gym more than 1 day a week. Last year I was doing aqua aerobics, aqua volleyball and aqua zumba, Reg zumba, cardio, kickboxing. These I enjoy, the treadmill and such not really..so I distract myself with a magazine.
I don’t want to go through the year feeling all pudgy.
I do the magazine too! We will struggle through it together – but we will get there! I keep thinking, “This is for my health. This is a GOOD thing. I am lucky to be able to move like this.” And so I keep going.
Thank you for opening up, Catherine! I think all women will struggle with this at some point in their lives, at varying degrees. As I get older, it’s been harder and harder to stay in shape, and accepting that I can’t eat whatever I want has been challenging to say the least. My dog has been a great motivator to get outside, and I bet your will be, too! Something else that helps me is repeating something my mom used to tell me when I didn’t want to finish homework, clean my room, etc, which is “you can do anything, no matter how bad, for 20 minutes. Just power through.” So now I do 20 minute long fitness videos at home (which is great because you can go balls out without fearing looking like a fool in front of people), and they are over before you know it. Making deals with yourself, like, “If I walk/jog to Target,I can have that Essie polish I’ve been eyeing,” helps too
You’re going to do great! And the bf is right, you look wonderful no matter what.
Your mom is a smart cookie – and so are you. I LOVE the idea of rewarding myself, especially with Essie polish. Thank you for your kind words – I hope you know how much I appreciate them!
This is fantastic! We all fall off the wagon and get extremely un-motivated (me most of last year) but I’m sure as soon as you kick it up a notch you’ll be feeling great in no time!! You can do it! And that was so sweet of your boyfriend!
Yes it was! He’s wonderful. I probably gush too much.
What a great piece to share. I know it’s a little “cliche” to talk about body image but it is equally SO IMPORTANT. I have always been pretty small. Most people think this is some kind of great thing, but it is not all it’s cracked up to be either. I have no chest, no curves, no hips. I always hear about how “real women” have curves and not having them makes me feel even less so. I personally think you are beautiful and I hope you keep up with feeling good about yourself regardless of your weight.
Thank you for sharing that other perspective. I have to admit, I am jealous of women with your body type, but I really appreciate you sharing and opening my eyes. We all have parts we wish were different, and I need to remember that.
Hey, if you are looking for support and encouragement, let me tell you (as you know) weight watchers has become my lifesaver. They have made it even easier to keep on track, and if you need a blogging buddy to keep you going, I’m your girl! I have fallen in love with the plan, and really agree with you- stop making excuses and take those puppies for their walk every night! Even if it was for 10 minutes, that is ten more minutes than nothing.
But personally, I think you look great, and your style really compliments people like us who are frustrated with our images, but want to remain somewhat fashionable and remain accountable. Plus, your story is encouraging others, and you really have a great fashion sense for dressing yourself, regardless of size- your style is fantastic, do not let other blogs/sizes frustrate you. Keep it true to yourself, and remember, your smile is priceless.
Clare
Understated Classics
Clare, you are so nice. Thank you for reading, and thank you so much for your kind words. I definitely do need a blogging buddy to keep me accountable! I started the blog because I felt like there weren’t a lot of other bloggers who I could relate to, and it’s always nice to hear that I’ve made an impact. Thank you for reading!
I am totally in the same boat. I was never very athletic (which, in a family full of athletes, is extra annoying), but I used to have a much better metabolism! The past few years, though, I’ve been struggling, and I am again trying to lose about 25 pounds. I haven’t tried Weight Watchers, but if some of the other things my husband and I are trying doesn’t work, I may do it. And I’m sure you know this, but I’ve found that while I usually don’t look forward to working out, there are certain classes and activities that make it a lot less annoying! A workout buddy usually helps me, too, because then I can’t decide to ditch the gym. Anyway, I think you look beautiful, but I wish you luck not only losing weight, but keeping it off!
Jen, thank you so much!! You are so nice! I think WW is an amazing program – they have great apps too. For me, getting in a routine is the way I lose weight. I pretty much eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch and always have a zero-points snack (usually fruit) in between lunch and dinner. The site http://www.skinnytaste.com is one of my FAVE places for recipes – she puts all the points right there! Good luck, and please let me know if you have questions – I’m here for you!
Loved you honesty in this post, and with a plan and determination you will surely succeed. That comment by your boyfriend is SO sweet… he’s a keeper!
You look amazing girl! And what’s more, you look healthy and happy – and your smile just lights up (the screen?)
And seriously my heart melted with your BF’s comment <3
XO
Pearls & Paws
Aww thank you so much. He is pretty wonderful – and I’m definitely very happy!
I think you look fabulous…but I know how much it sucks to go through losing weight, just to put it back on. Good luck with it this time around
Love love love that pink sweater with that skirt!
Annie
The Other Side of Gray
Thanks Annie! It’s a good reminder to myself that my health is important and shouldn’t be taken for granted. This might be my new favorite sweater (and skirt)!
Your boyfriend is right – you’re perfect the way you are and no one should tell you otherwise. That said, I can totally relate – I have been playing that 10lbs on/10 lbs off game for most of my adult life and having never been physically active, the hardest part for me was exercising. Even when I’d lose weight I was only just skinny-fat – no real tightness or muscle, just less of me. Exercising’s ALWAYS been a chore – until I found Crossfit. Let me begin by saying that Crossfit is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Ever. It’s not easy to get into the frame of mind required to lift really heavy things above my head, have callouses and tears on my hands from doing pull-ups, and be in a constant state of soreness from the intense workouts. But the support from the community is soooooo encouraging that I actually look forward to going almost every day. And it doesn’t hurt that I find myself getting stronger and stronger everyday. And even though I’m not losing any pounds, the fat is definitely melting away – which has really helped me reprioritize my goal – I’m no longer obsessed with being skinny, I just want to be fit and strong. Anyway, that was just my long winded way of providing you another option in your journey – regardless, I know you’ll be successful.
Cat
Thank you so much for sharing, Cat. I am so glad you have found something that works for you – that sounds SOOOO hard, but that just makes it all the better when you get through it. You go!
I think more of us struggle with this than we like to admit. And it comes down to the fact that it is easier to be lazy than it is to get off my butt. I know that if I worked out every day I can make a huge difference. But more of the time I am too tired for a number of reasons. Here is the thing – I have more energy when I am working out. I find I stick with it more when someone expects it of me. Like if I going a workout group, even if it is only via facebook. Or if I make an annoucement and have to stick with it. I would love to lose the 30 lbs that have just inched up since I was 20.
Please know you’re not alone in feeling this way. I wish I was a natural-born athlete, that I got some sort of enjoyment out of running, working out, exercise, ANY physical activity. But I’m so not. Being lazy is my second favorite hobby (besides sleeping). If you ever need a virtual workout buddy, I am here for you – cursing the fact that I have to work out!! I’d love to provide support – seriously, let me know if I can help.